What do I know?

Hello first-years. You’ve made it here. Stop. Look around. Appreciate your surroundings for a second. Gloat. You are no longer in high school. Celebration is appropriate. The next time you see your younger friends from home you will have an indisputable claim to superiority.

Here are some things that are cool about college. Your friends here will be less than 15 minutes away, with almost no exceptions. (The downside is you also see all of your friends almost every day. You also may end up living with them. Think about that for a second.)

Also cool is the fact that most people really can’t tell you to do things. They can only make strong suggestions and imply consequences. Your parents will no longer be around to harass you to feed the dog or empty the dishwasher. This is one of the reasons my father and I now have a much stronger relationship.

Jordan Kurker-Mraz ’14

This freedom from chores, however, has a price. For example, unless you are willing to pay to go out to eat, no one really cares what you think of the food in the dining hall. You have to make do with the choices offered to you. Similarly, for the first couple weeks of school, the food in the dining hall will be pretty good and you won’t be sick of it yet. Savor this.

But your ability to govern your own life is pretty nifty. America was founded on the model of self-determination. So here you are. Self-determine. If you want to spend your first semester in recreation, then go for it. If you’d prefer to spend all your time in the library, you can do that too. I advise trying to find a happy medium. This is difficult. I don’t quite have it down yet but I’m working on it.

In terms of concrete advice I have little to offer. I would advise that you join a couple student organizations. The involvement fair is cool. You will give up your email address to way too many people, and you will be spammed. I have found that I am able to devote my time to about two or three things while still managing to spend a lot of time finding cool stuff on the Internet.

If you do actually commit to a student organization, you will get the added benefit of having friends, or at least people who must be polite and can’t protest too much when you go to sit with them in the dining hall. These people also will be able to advise you in terms of what courses and professors to take, etc. etc.

The other thing that’s cool about Denison is that the professors/staff are actually here to work for you. They will take time out of their (probably) busy day to talk to you about getting a job, or whom you have to see for some paperwork to fill out. This is a good thing. Learn whom to talk to get things done. It will make your life easier in the long run.

All in all you will be overwhelmed with pretty much everything. All of the clichéd advice people give you is probably good, and you probably won’t follow it because you, like me, probably believe in learning things the hard way.

Good luck. And don’t get too carried away this weekend.

Jordan Kurker-Mraz ’14 is a classics major from Tucson, Ariz.

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6:55 PM August 24, 2011

bob Saget wrote:

YOU DA MAN JORDAN!!!!!!

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2:58 PM August 25, 2011

Marie wrote:

Jordan Kurker-Mraz is a BAMF. He once saved my dog’s life using canine CPR. He can impregnate an ovulating woman with one look. He fought a kracken…and won. He’s secure enough in his masculinity to admit that he watches “Grey’s Anatomy” while knitting. When he shaved off his mustache, he used the hairs to make a pillow for kittens. In Tucson, they call saguaro cacti, “Spiny Jordans”. He has two gallbladders.

What a guy.

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9:51 PM September 30, 2011

rudy from china wrote:

stop using cool, you sound like a fool

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